Trust is an expensive word

Sometimes, it is better to distance yourself from people so that you can avoid disappointment. I just remembered this because I saw betrayal once again–in its ruthless and unrelenting form dressed in sheep’s clothing. Really, don’t expect loyalty when she can’t even provide honesty.

Humans are really confusing.

People have often asked me why do my characters only have very few friends. I didn’t notice that until someone pointed it out and it got me thinking. Maybe it is true that with every story you pen, you always leave a part of yourself. I personally think that having few loyal friends will always be better than having a disloyal flock. I mean, why would you need loads of friends who don’t got your back? To feel entitled because many are after your attention? To have many people mouthing your name? What for? These people won’t even be there when you’re at your lowest.

They will probably be the first ones going out of the door once you’re asking for help.

They will be the ones who will turn their back when you’re begging for mercy.

They will be the ones pretending to be deaf when you’re shouting for their name.

You’re just fooling yourself by thinking that having many friends is better than having few true friends.

Quality will always trump over quantity.

Once upon a time, I used to let people easily into my life and boy if that wasn’t one of the things I regret the most. It is very easy to give your trust but the hard part is mending yourself once it gets broken. It isn’t easy pondering what the hell is wrong with you that people keep on hurting you. It isn’t easy thinking why you’re not good enough. It’s just never easy.

It makes you think how.

It makes you hurt why.

Isn’t this the reason why they said that breaking up with your friends is way worse than breaking up with your boyfriend? Because it sucks. It fucking sucks. I mean really, really sucks.

And once you get your trust broken, you just can’t let people in easily again. You will always have this lingering fear inside your head. What if one day they leave? What if one day they realize you’re not good enough? Gods, it will make you crazy and very insecure. You will start building that wall and make yourself contented with superficial friendships…

You will have to talk about the stupid weather and the boring economy instead of pouring your deepest feelings over a cup of coffee.

But isn’t it better than investing your love and trust on someone who will just leave later on? Because you can’t trust again. Because you did that and it freaking hurt. Because you don’t want to go through that nightmare once again.

I know getting dumped by your boyfriend must hurt but I’m pretty sure best friend break-ups has got to be the one of the hardest things ever. So choose the people you trust because you know what? People get stabbed by those whom they trust the most. So be careful who your friends are… because you never know and you can never be too sure.

Eydee x



2 thoughts on “Trust is an expensive word

  1. This is an eye opener. I am a friendly type of person and I treasure friendships so much. I haven’t experienced being betrayed by a friend. And with your blogpost, i think it sucks. I can’t imagine losing friends. I fight for them even if they are the bad ones. I will always have their backs as to how they have mine. I love them so much. And i hope, you too ms. Author will find a friend that sticks and loves closer than a sister. 💜💜💜


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